Jul 25, 2017
We are addicted to our phones not because we rely on them, but to the extent that we recruit them to a harmful project of self-avoidance. They do not mean to hurt us. But we may – and probably do – use them to injure ourselves. Addiction sounds horrible. But it is a hard name for a normal inclination: a habit of running away from the joys and terrors of self-knowledge.
— (via swissmiss | Phones)
Don't believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
— Lou Reed
Jul 22, 2017
As if to confirm all this, another recent study concludes that it’s psychologically far easier to declutter your home if you first take a photo of anything to which you’re emotionally attached. People are readier to part with such items when they know they can trigger the same old feelings by consulting the picture later. Which raises the question: what if they’d saved their cash and just collected a bunch of photos to begin with?
Jul 7, 2017
A related and even more powerful form of script disruption is what psychologists call “non-complementarity”, which involves deliberately not complying with the patterns of emotion or behaviour that a situation seems to call for.
Jun 30, 2017
Faced with a problem, the temptation is always to ask how to solve it, or to get rid of it; but an alternative is to ask what it’s trying to tell you. “We must recognise that our problems have not been randomly inflicted on us,” write the Jungian psychologists Marcella Weiner and Mark Simmons. “They have a purpose, to act as guideposts pointing the way toward healing and wholeness.” Figure out why you’re drawn to someone you also in some ways can’t stand, then, and the question of whether you should stick it out or leave may suddenly seem rather obvious. Sometimes, at least – to quote the title of Weiner and Simmons’ book – the problem is the solution.
— (via Perfect partner turned out to have a flaw? Here's what to do | Oliver Burkeman | Life and style | The Guardian)
Jun 23, 2017
Letting go of an idea, too, can be more satisfying than just putting it in a metaphorical drawer and willing yourself to forget about it. If you know you’re never going to do anything with it, Douglas argued, why not let it find a home where it stands a chance? Release your idea into the wilds of the internet for someone else to pick up. Or, better yet, do that with all your ideas, one massive unloading of all the things that never made it past the initial brainstorm stage. And if there are any that you truly can’t bear to get rid of — well, if it sparks joy, it’s probably a sign that it’s time to get to work.
In a paradoxical twist, the research suggests that the less we think about ourselves, the better we become. Self-transcendence not only allows us to overcome our greatest fears and break through our limits, but it also improves our performance in less heroic, everyday activities.
The researchers also offered some advice for how to put their findings to use: “Set [breaks] at regular intervals — use a timer if you have to. When it goes off, switch tasks: Organize your reimbursement receipts, check your email, or clean your desk, and then return to the original task,” they wrote. “If you’re hesitant to break away because you feel that you’re on a roll, be mindful that it might be a false impression.” Sometimes, what feels like productivity is really just you regenerating old ideas — and sometimes, the path to real productivity leads you through a stretch of doing nothing.
There’s a broader point here. From inside their rigid mindset, participants were unable to see they were in a rigid mindset, just as a fish can’t see water, and many psychological states seem to work the same way. Take anger: in the very moment that you feel utterly furious about something minor – someone jumping the queue, say – your disproportionate rage feels proportionate. Loneliness makes people want to retreat from socialising, when the opposite would help. When you’re demotivated, you can’t see that doing whatever you’re avoiding is the route to feeling motivated. And so on. The trick is not blindly to trust your own thoughts and feelings, but learn to second-guess them. A plan can be one way to do that, because it’s a guide to action that doesn’t rely on what you feel like doing. Which is why – not to bang on about this – schedules are a good idea.
— (via Want to be more creative? Schedule a break | Oliver Burkeman | Life and style | The Guardian)
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
— Ellen Goodman (via swissmiss | Normal)